brothers and sisters

What does it mean to be a brother or sister in Christ? Is that any different from being the members of the same church.

When my brother Phil and I were kids, I use to beat him up a lot as the older brother. At some point in time when I was in the 8th grade, we just stopped fighting. In the 40 years since then, Phil and I have become very close. Of people in the world I respect, Phil is right at the top. I love to sit and talk with him. He is very accepting and yet challenging all in the same breath. He is involved in a variety of community projects to help other people and travels annually as part of a team to do eye exams and eye surgery either in Haiti, El Salvador or Nicaragua. I imagine if I ever felt the need to seek safety anywhere, it would be with Phil.

I believe a brother or sister in Christ is an even better relationship than the one I have with my biological brother Phil. In truth, we have become brothers in Christ. I think that is why we are so close. He is a lay person and one of the most spiritually focused people I know. His profession is to help the people of Arlington County in Virginia to dispose of their household hazardous waste. But his life is to be a brother, a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Again, that's why we are close. No biology or even 17 years of sharing the same bedroom could have led to this. As we have each sought to grow in Christ, we have become closer to one another...even though that wasn't our specific goal.

I think some folks work too hard at being friends in church life. The "oughts and shoulds" of the church communal life become so restrictive that people become frustrated with one another when they don't feel that they are as close as they think they should be in "in church."

It is when we let go of trying and allow God to grow us that our relationships with others in the Body become real and true. This is the heart of spiritual discipline. Growing with God as God grows us in love with humanity. Strange way to do it, but it seems to be the only way it works. Jesus says to us over and over again..."lose your life for my sake." Whether it is done in some immediate life experience or whether it comes after many moments culminating in one's life, it still means making a choice after the experiences are unfolding. Will I lose my life for Christ's sake? Then, I will become a brother and sister in Christ!

david@loar.org
Loar family web site

remembering the past and holding resentments

In international affairs we hear often that such and such people have a long memory. It seems to be cast in the vein that we in the US don't have a long memory. That is, we don't hold grudges or resentments against other people. For instance, the ethnic cleansing in the Balkans of the 1990's was said to be from long held resentments leading back to W.W. II and even before. That once Tito died and the glue that held Yugoslavia together evaporated, those resentments led to the atrocities we saw during that time.

I have recently had a personal experience where resentments that were held over 20 years surfaced towards me from another person. I've tried to imagine what it must feel like to hold on to that for that length of time. I have long held resentments inside myself that I struggle with too. When something goes wrong in my life, I find that my bitterness wanders to situations and people from my past. I somehow want to blame them for my present predicament (If blaming really fixed any of us, we would all have been healed a long time ago.)

God spoke to the people of Israel saying that the only one who deserved to own long held bitterness and resentment was himself. BUT, that he chose to forgive us rather than destroy us. Disciples of Jesus live within that kind of realm here on earth. We proclaim it now. Even when we don't feel it or see it (because we didn't create it or control it), we are still called to proclaim it. We can trust that God will offer it, even when we don't feel or see it. Our memories can recover those times from our past when we saw God's forgiveness in our life, rather than holding on to resentments to fuel our fire of anger which disconnects us from God.

This is not easy. It goes against the grain of this world. But not against the grain of God's realm which Jesus has revealed in the present and points ahead to when it will be complete.

God, help me and us to live more in your memory rather than our own. Amen.

david@loar.org