the days of...

With all the details of prep for the services the of this week and the weekend, plus all the other church stuff that needed to get done, I am tired.

Have I spiritually prepared myself? I think not. I have tried to live the ordinary, regular pace and then expect that I will be able to "observe" these holy days. It is as if Lent lost its way in these last days. And I like the disciples with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane couldn't keep watch with him even for a little while.

I am worried that with my anxiousness about these days, I have acted in ways that has upset other people. I have felt impatient. I want to get back to the spiritual path and it seems as though the worldly path has made it into a six lane expressway with traffic buzzing all around. Which lane should I be in? Will I find the Christ on this road?

I have amends to make. But right now I don't know if I am feeling truly sorry or just plain tired.