time spent

I just watched most of a documentary about a man killed on death row in Texas in 1989 who it now looks like was innocent and the chaplain at the prison who believed he was innocent.  The chaplain was a conservative, Presbyterian pastor who was with 140 prisoners who were executed for their last 12 hours as well as with them while they were on death row.  When they did the documentary they found out he had made audio tapes after each one as he anguished about the individual and the death.  He is now retired and out spoken against the death penalty. http://www.ifc.com/movies/433052/At-the-Death-House-Door http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carroll_Pickett http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/execution/readings/pickett.html It got me passionate about opposing the death penalty which I have as long as I can remember.  However, I have not been as outspoken in recent years.  In the last few hours since watching the movie I have pondered about how much I have avoided in speaking out.  I wonder if I have allowed myself as a pastor to have spent too much time trying to manage the status quo.  I do firmly believe that we must be in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and turn our lives over to God to be saved from our sin.  For most of my early years I avoided saying that like the plague.  I thought that was the way many people were ducking dealing with the injustice in our society.  But then in my own life I came to realize that Jesus was real and was changing me.  Yet, I still believed and have been outspoken working for justice.  Yet, in my 35 years in parish ministry, I find myself sucked into too many personal squabbles.  I find people who want Jesus to be their savior, but they are continually living in a life of pain.  Its like they are unwilling to offer their life even with its pain to Jesus Christ.  And thus the church becomes a never ending cycle of personal defeats, fears, anxieties and losses.  There are moments of grace and hope.  Moments of charity.  But not much courage to face the power of the demonic which conforms us in our personal lifestyles to not face the economic injustice by which we are able to to live in our own comfort while others suffer very deeply.  Even in this time of financial collapse, most of us are not hurting.  We are more afraid, though, of losing what we have.  The paradox...like the rich young ruler, Jesus asks us if we are willing to give it all to the poor.  Jeremiah 6 10 To whom can I speak and give warning?        Who will listen to me?        Their ears are closed        so they cannot hear.        The word of the LORD is offensive to them;        they find no pleasure in it.  11 But I am full of the wrath of the LORD,        and I cannot hold it in.        "Pour it out on the children in the street        and on the young men gathered together;        both husband and wife will be caught in it,        and the old, those weighed down with years.  12 Their houses will be turned over to others,        together with their fields and their wives,        when I stretch out my hand        against those who live in the land,"        declares the LORD.  13 "From the least to the greatest,        all are greedy for gain;        prophets and priests alike,        all practice deceit.  14 They dress the wound of my people        as though it were not serious.        'Peace, peace,' they say,        when there is no peace.  15 Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct?        No, they have no shame at all;        they do not even know how to blush.        So they will fall among the fallen;        they will be brought down when I punish them,"        says the LORD. Amos 5 11 You trample on the poor        and force him to give you grain.        Therefore, though you have built stone mansions,        you will not live in them;        though you have planted lush vineyards,        you will not drink their wine.  12 For I know how many are your offenses        and how great your sins.        You oppress the righteous and take bribes        and you deprive the poor of justice in the courts. 21 "I hate, I despise your religious feasts;        I cannot stand your assemblies.  22 Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,        I will not accept them.        Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, [b]        I will have no regard for them.  23 Away with the noise of your songs!        I will not listen to the music of your harps.  24 But let justice roll on like a river,        righteousness like a never-failing stream!